fridgeninja | PRISMATICA INBOX

[ He shook his head as he sipped the soda, bouncing his leg a little. ]

I'll build it back up soon enough, it's fine. 'Cause uh... [ He wished he was a bit more articulate to actually segue into this better. But he figured he shouldn't be worried, Souji is the most accepting guy around! He just also knew what a massive hypocrite he had been too and he was hoping he didn't get That Look from him. ] I guess guys along with girls aren't... totally... off the table?

[ His cheeks went red at this and he set the soda down. ]

B-Before you say anything! I... so I apparently only left here for like three days so, I don't think anyone noticed I was gone except for Rise, she kinda blew up my phone with texts. B-But back home, I was there for over six months before I ended up back here. And between here and how this place is and being home and just... going through some things...

[ He sighed heavily and shook his head. ]

I was in such deep denial that I didn't even realize it until recently and I know that makes me this huge hypocrite but... I guess it explains things too. A-And I plan on telling Kanji too! He-He deserves that a-and an apology. So... yeah.

[Souji is visibly stunned. It isn't the sort of mild, missable expression Yosuke has learned to read but mist others overlook, but wide eyes, even paling a little. He opens his mouth to respond and for a moment there'w nothing.]

... I... wasn't expecting that. But it's - we all have a lot to figure out, and...

... nn. And right now, it looks like it bothers me. That's not it.

... Is it okay if I ask how you figured it out?

[ When Souji began to pale a little, Yosuke bit his lip and even began to look like he was going to start to panic. But then, even as Souji confirmed what it looked like, that it... wasn't it? But Souji wasn't bolting or yelling at him or anything, so he took a moment to get his composure back a little. ]

U-Uh... um, wh-when those fox fanatics kidnapped us, I had to drink this funky wine. A-And in August, during the Triple Moon, I had like... more than normal fox features. Nine tails and stuff. And... kind of a confidence boost, you could say. You know how worried I get, anxious and stuff... a lot of it has to do with how others see me.

[ His soda was mostly forgotten as he stared at the table, fidgeting with his hands. ]

You know, the Junes kid and stuff. I-I knew I was in denial and deflecting because I'd realized during that time that without that anxiety, I didn't... I didn't care if I thought guys were hot and stuff. It was... I got so caught up in thinking that I didn't need s-something else for people to hate on me for that I-I didn't realize that I had gotten so defensive. Like, if I was comfortable being straight then I shouldn't have been like that, and I shouldn't have treated Kanji like I did. I mean, no one else did, you didn't. So when that phase was over, I just... took some time to really think about it.

A-Also helped that I... kissed a guy and I liked it? [ Such a lame joke, but he wanted to try and lighten the mood at least a little. ] A-And then I went home and without you around since you were back in Tokyo, I just... had a lot to think about. I didn't remember this place though but I think I was workin' toward the same conclusion, just at a much slower pace because when I came back here, it was just... it was just easier to come to terms with.

I didn't say anything like that to Kanji - at least, not on purpose - but I didn't defend him. Or tell you not to say things like that. I haven't always been...

[He looks down, takes a deep breath, and looks back up.]

I was worried about how people would see me, too. And I was intimidated by Kanji's - his Shadow, and his reputation. So it's not something where you should think you're the only one who got it wrong.

... And when I figured out it didn't matter to me, either, I chickened out of telling you. So you don't have to worry that I'm going to think... anything bad about it.

I don’t know if it’s really your job to do that? Although I guess I woulda stopped bein’ a jackass a bit sooner if you had. But don’t worry about it, I should’ve known better.

[ his words made him pause. It was a little vague, mostly in that Yosuke wasn’t sure if he was hearing right. That Souji had been in a similar boat to him? It was only vague in that he wasn’t sure in what way? That he was... he was the same or just that he had simply felt intimidated by Kanji’s Shadow (And really, it was A Lot at the time no matter how anyone looked at it). ]

Chickened out of telling me what exactly?

[ If this is where he thought it could possibly be going, then it wasn’t like he wouldn’t understand. Yosuke had been a complete dick, after all. He knows. But if it wasn’t, then he wasn’t quite understanding what it was that made him scared to tell him or something. ]

I-

[He's gone to great lengths to avoid saying it straight out to almost anyone, avoid thinking about it - avoid anything but acting on it, really.]

I like... everyone. It doesn't matter if they're a girl or a boy, if they're - interesting, then I just... I like them.

O-Oh!

[ That made him blush a little. That wasn’t what he expecting out of this conversation but it was also... kind of nice to hear nonetheless. He did look guilty though. It didn’t take a genius to figure out why, he couldn’t be upset about it even if he wanted to be. ]

It’s... It’s not like you had any reason to tell me, partner. I was a jerk about that stuff.

I still feel like I should have tried to explain. But...

Let's just both be glad we've learned better.

Heh, I guess we could leave it at that. I'm glad.

[ he bumped his soda can with souji's lightly. ]

So, yeah, that's basically what I wanted to tell you. Also I just missed you and wanted to hang out.

[ it hadn't been that long on this side, but back home, he didn't get to see his best friend as often as he'd like. ]

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